" We want girls. Girls who can get themselves into good shape to go to a dance. The boys are getting tired of receiving invitations with the request that you "bring ladies."
They are like apples, very scarce. We want girls who will go to church and to Bible class on Sunday, and that kind who can draw a congregation of the other sex and who will take a buggy ride after the lesson is over. This will help the livery business and also the sale of residence lots, for buggies are the vehicles in which homes are first thought of by many people.
We want girls who can wait on a table, and who can smile us into an appetite when stomack (sic) bitters are impotent, and who will make the boys regular at their meals.
We want girls for sweethearts, so that when one of us gets an arm shot off, or kicked by a mule, or thrown from a bucking horse and is laid away for repair he can hear a gentle voice and see the glitter of a crystal tear spoken and dropped in unconscious sympathy for his pain.
We want fat and funny girls to make us smile all over, and lean and fragile ones to hang upon our arms, and petite blondes who show themselves on sunny days, and stately brunettes so beautiful in the twilight."
I can't imagine if any ladies responded to this desperate plea.
My personal response to his request,
"suck it up, George!"